a strange thing happened to me today. i have a friend, and we often flirt. i blatantly flirt because he gets slightly embarrassed, and i find that amusing.
i recently (as in today) picked up that he is constantly surrounded by girls , and i went "woah ho hey!". i mentioned this to him, and he blushed and told me that i was lucky to be one of the girls he associated himself with . i didn't know what to say, except high 5 him and call him a pimp.
2 seconds later i was suddenly attracted to him. he had done absolutely nothing differently in terms of our interaction, but because he had these girls who were always with him, i suddenly decided that there must be something desirable about him. must. have. him.
"bitches be crazy"
this got me to thinking that females really are strange characters. well, i have always thought that we were, but it's comical to find yourself in a situation where you are being the said strange character. guys, think about this: how often have you been hanging out with a girl, she shows no interest, but the minute you are with another female her tiger claws come out and she is suddenly clawing away at you? i bet it has happened on more than one occasion.
perhaps there is a primitive cause in this - wanting to be with the big chief in the clan and having to smack other bitches out of the way to get there? i don't know. i am just spitballing here. but there seems to be a bit of truth in there.
i am not going to delve into this any further because i have a crazy headache and want to go home, but i have seen this happen in real life, and my tip to you guys (i don't know if i should be telling you this, but whatever who cares): if you want a girl, get another girl in order to get that girl (this is for short-term happiness; longer term ideas requires a different recipe). it is as simple and as complicated as that.
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
amendment to a zero sum game
last week i wrote a post about this thing one calls "game". i thought i knew what i was talking about. obviously when you write a blog post, you believe that you are the expert on said topic. thank heavens i rarely blog and that the content spans the most arb of topics.
anyways, i wrote this post. and then i was properly schooled this weekend. i realised that i do in fact have game. and not game by the definition i supplied. yes, i met someone. yes, we had a great time. did i get into my animal predator mode and change anything about myself? no, not at all. i was just being my average 4am friday night rabi, which incidentally is the best me i can be as i make no sense, am pretty easy going and don't give a flying fuck.
after receiving a plethora of high fives from my friends the following day (as i said before, we had all agreed that i have no game), i thought about this for a bit. and i realised (which i should have known from the get go, and not been a self-defeatist child about this), that game isn't actually any slick or sick moves. it isn't about knowing what to say and when. it isn't take one step forward and one step back. there is in fact no A-Z definition of game. there are no rules, and there is no committee.
in fact, it is just you being the best you you can be, and believing that that best you is good enough. it is as simple as that. people are attracted to people who are genuine. if you are just you, then you will come out winning every time. i am not the prettiest, or coolest or smartest, but i am ok with that, because i am just me. and being just you is all the game you need.
i think about this character i met on friday night, no gimmicks, no tricks, just a simple, "hello, how are you?". literally. that was it. i kid you not. the fact that he was pretty hot obviously played no role in anything. but that type of approach was simple. and because there isn't a fanfare of bells and whistles, you let your guard down and are more relaxed and are then the best you you can be. and you come out winning!!
so we all have game. just don't be an idiot about it.
but hey, #imjussayin
anyways, i wrote this post. and then i was properly schooled this weekend. i realised that i do in fact have game. and not game by the definition i supplied. yes, i met someone. yes, we had a great time. did i get into my animal predator mode and change anything about myself? no, not at all. i was just being my average 4am friday night rabi, which incidentally is the best me i can be as i make no sense, am pretty easy going and don't give a flying fuck.
after receiving a plethora of high fives from my friends the following day (as i said before, we had all agreed that i have no game), i thought about this for a bit. and i realised (which i should have known from the get go, and not been a self-defeatist child about this), that game isn't actually any slick or sick moves. it isn't about knowing what to say and when. it isn't take one step forward and one step back. there is in fact no A-Z definition of game. there are no rules, and there is no committee.
in fact, it is just you being the best you you can be, and believing that that best you is good enough. it is as simple as that. people are attracted to people who are genuine. if you are just you, then you will come out winning every time. i am not the prettiest, or coolest or smartest, but i am ok with that, because i am just me. and being just you is all the game you need.
i think about this character i met on friday night, no gimmicks, no tricks, just a simple, "hello, how are you?". literally. that was it. i kid you not. the fact that he was pretty hot obviously played no role in anything. but that type of approach was simple. and because there isn't a fanfare of bells and whistles, you let your guard down and are more relaxed and are then the best you you can be. and you come out winning!!
so we all have game. just don't be an idiot about it.
but hey, #imjussayin
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
zero sum game
this actually has very little to do with economics. although, perhaps the prisoner's dilemma could be wittingly incorporated somehow, but let's just see shall we.
as usual, i constantly spend time thinking about the interactions and relationships between people. recently, how individuals of the opposite sex engage with one another. i am a mere observer with a beer in the back. but what has really got me thinking lately (by watching my friends) is this element of "game".
now first and foremost, what exactly is "game"? can it be quantified? taught? bought? are you born with it? from my understanding, it is how you approach a prospective individual of the opposite sex, and somehow convince them that you are the best for them. that they should give you a chance. this happens without them even realising what is going on, and before they know it they are in bed with you. does that sound pretty correct?
i am constantly being told that i have no game, and it's true, by that definition i really do have none. I have witnessed friends do magical things in social situations once their eye is on the prize. eye. prize. done son. something switches on, and they suddenly adjust themselves in that moment and convert into animals seeking their prey. this yields results. and all without breaking a sweat.
i on the other hand choose to avoid such situations, and continue on my normal way of high fives and fist bumps. the occasional giggle here and there that even tends to surprise me. and here i wonder why i get nowhere.
so are these tactics that can be taught, or does one have to live out their lives without "game"? is game even important, or a fundamental starting block in relationships? does it not just overcomplicate situations? in my mind it should be boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl likes boy. BOOM! and they run off into the sunset. what is the essential purpose of this game? the challenge perhaps? we all like a good puzzle and a bit of back and forth, but can a puzzle be too easy or overly complicated?
for those who don't have game, i am essentially trying to justify why it is okay to not have any. will i be successful in this justification? i don't even know myself.
but these are just questions and thought starters. i don't know the answers to any of this, and if i did, this blog post wouldn't even be a thought. let's chat....
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
as usual, i constantly spend time thinking about the interactions and relationships between people. recently, how individuals of the opposite sex engage with one another. i am a mere observer with a beer in the back. but what has really got me thinking lately (by watching my friends) is this element of "game".
now first and foremost, what exactly is "game"? can it be quantified? taught? bought? are you born with it? from my understanding, it is how you approach a prospective individual of the opposite sex, and somehow convince them that you are the best for them. that they should give you a chance. this happens without them even realising what is going on, and before they know it they are in bed with you. does that sound pretty correct?
i am constantly being told that i have no game, and it's true, by that definition i really do have none. I have witnessed friends do magical things in social situations once their eye is on the prize. eye. prize. done son. something switches on, and they suddenly adjust themselves in that moment and convert into animals seeking their prey. this yields results. and all without breaking a sweat.
i on the other hand choose to avoid such situations, and continue on my normal way of high fives and fist bumps. the occasional giggle here and there that even tends to surprise me. and here i wonder why i get nowhere.
so are these tactics that can be taught, or does one have to live out their lives without "game"? is game even important, or a fundamental starting block in relationships? does it not just overcomplicate situations? in my mind it should be boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl likes boy. BOOM! and they run off into the sunset. what is the essential purpose of this game? the challenge perhaps? we all like a good puzzle and a bit of back and forth, but can a puzzle be too easy or overly complicated?
for those who don't have game, i am essentially trying to justify why it is okay to not have any. will i be successful in this justification? i don't even know myself.
but these are just questions and thought starters. i don't know the answers to any of this, and if i did, this blog post wouldn't even be a thought. let's chat....
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
Thursday, July 12, 2012
drunk vs sober hook ups
it's saturday night. you are having a good time. shots are being poured. drinks are being thrown back. the sounds of laughter, music and slurred speech are in the air. you look across the dancefloor, and you see the most "beautiful" (this is gauged differently throughout the evening as each drink is consumed) girl/guy you have ever seen. your loins start shouting, "Must. Have. That."
you realise that normal you would never have the courage to approach this being. but inebriated you is a completely different story. you pluck up your courage and do something about this. one thing leads to another, and you end up finding a lover for the evening.
when you are boozed, you are the best you you can be (as far as you are concerned). fearless. more attractive, intelligent, witty. why wouldn't people want to hook up with you? there is no such thing as "fear of rejection" or "standards" in this situation. you always have the excuse of "i was drunk"; "i wasn't in the right state of mind"; "huh? i hooked up??". when drunk, it is a situation of primitive sexual gratification. you are going to get some, no matter who/where it comes from (this is either followed by a high five from your friends, or a slap in the face).
show of hands: how many of you have hooked up with someone for the first time, and been stone cold sober (this question isn't applicable to those who don't drink. you are a breed i do not understand, and never will understand)? if your hand is up, "bravo!" I had this experience once, and i don't know about you, but it threw me. people are attracted to each other without wine being in the mix? people can be intimate without having a few jagermeisters first? huh? what?
the thing that threw me is that unlike hooking up in a drunken situation, this type you can't brush off. this type carries a little more weight. this type takes a conscious sober effort to get down. it takes a rational mind to strategise how it is going to happen (no dancefloor. damnit!) there is calculated thought and process that goes into this. a fine example is dating. everything part of it is meticulously planned out, so that by the end of it, you can get you some boootay (although most dates will include some drinking to calm the nerves).
so what am i trying to ultimately say about the drunken hook up versus the sober hook up? the drunk version is just fun. satisfying a primal need. and satisfying it now. the sober one on the other hand takes a lot more time and effort. and it is more than just a physical satisfaction, there is something deeper there.
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
you realise that normal you would never have the courage to approach this being. but inebriated you is a completely different story. you pluck up your courage and do something about this. one thing leads to another, and you end up finding a lover for the evening.
when you are boozed, you are the best you you can be (as far as you are concerned). fearless. more attractive, intelligent, witty. why wouldn't people want to hook up with you? there is no such thing as "fear of rejection" or "standards" in this situation. you always have the excuse of "i was drunk"; "i wasn't in the right state of mind"; "huh? i hooked up??". when drunk, it is a situation of primitive sexual gratification. you are going to get some, no matter who/where it comes from (this is either followed by a high five from your friends, or a slap in the face).
show of hands: how many of you have hooked up with someone for the first time, and been stone cold sober (this question isn't applicable to those who don't drink. you are a breed i do not understand, and never will understand)? if your hand is up, "bravo!" I had this experience once, and i don't know about you, but it threw me. people are attracted to each other without wine being in the mix? people can be intimate without having a few jagermeisters first? huh? what?
the thing that threw me is that unlike hooking up in a drunken situation, this type you can't brush off. this type carries a little more weight. this type takes a conscious sober effort to get down. it takes a rational mind to strategise how it is going to happen (no dancefloor. damnit!) there is calculated thought and process that goes into this. a fine example is dating. everything part of it is meticulously planned out, so that by the end of it, you can get you some boootay (although most dates will include some drinking to calm the nerves).
so what am i trying to ultimately say about the drunken hook up versus the sober hook up? the drunk version is just fun. satisfying a primal need. and satisfying it now. the sober one on the other hand takes a lot more time and effort. and it is more than just a physical satisfaction, there is something deeper there.
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
Thursday, February 23, 2012
stop to smell the flowers
earlier this year i bought a book. it was a very good book. however, it took me so long to get through the first half, because i just never had time. between work commitments and social commitments, when i got home, all i would want to do was lie on the couch and turn my brain off whilst i watched some series.
then one day, i took a bold step and a blanket, and headed for the park. yes, the park. and this was during my lunch break. the 1hr and 15mins in my day that i have to get away from the office, eat and recharge.
ever since that first day, i have never looked back. i head to the park religiously every single day. and don't feel happy if i am unable to go. i finished my book at a normal speed when this happened, and moved onto the next book. but it wasn't even about the book.
it was about taking that time to myself. we are all so busy with life, that we very rarely take the time to just live. time however is a luxury. running between clients, meeting deadlines, pulling hair out, leaves very little of the GMT +2 that you can use for yourself. to get back to you, and allow yourself to just be.
but 1hr a day is all that you need. and trust me, it feels amazing. you feel refreshed, and ready to get back into it when you return to the office (albeit, a little bit depressed because you have to return to the office). life stops looking so mundane and boring. you have a fresh new perspective on things, and it does make you that little bit happier.
find something you love. and whilst doing that, stop, and take time to smell the flowers.
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
(image found on http://www.whatsonincapetown.com/post/venue-de-waal-park/)
then one day, i took a bold step and a blanket, and headed for the park. yes, the park. and this was during my lunch break. the 1hr and 15mins in my day that i have to get away from the office, eat and recharge.
ever since that first day, i have never looked back. i head to the park religiously every single day. and don't feel happy if i am unable to go. i finished my book at a normal speed when this happened, and moved onto the next book. but it wasn't even about the book.
it was about taking that time to myself. we are all so busy with life, that we very rarely take the time to just live. time however is a luxury. running between clients, meeting deadlines, pulling hair out, leaves very little of the GMT +2 that you can use for yourself. to get back to you, and allow yourself to just be.
but 1hr a day is all that you need. and trust me, it feels amazing. you feel refreshed, and ready to get back into it when you return to the office (albeit, a little bit depressed because you have to return to the office). life stops looking so mundane and boring. you have a fresh new perspective on things, and it does make you that little bit happier.
find something you love. and whilst doing that, stop, and take time to smell the flowers.
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
(image found on http://www.whatsonincapetown.com/post/venue-de-waal-park/)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
'tsek!
there are many phrases and adages in the south african culture that are fantastically dismissive, with voetsek! (or the variation, ’tsek!) being the one that crosses cultural boundaries in this hot pot of a country. yet despite this dismissive-when-fed-up element of our culture, south africans as taxpayers have been complacent – as if there is an income ceiling for mass action. there are two particular things – actually three – that have caused me frustration this year, as a taxpayer – these induced the above thought.
the first is having official municipal car guards outside my office, charging R8/hour (i know this has been happening in Cape Town for a while, but it is new to the City of Gold). so this is in addition to my taxes? okay deep breath...
the second thing was the tolls (which have thankfully been put off for a while), but this essentially targets people moving into Johannesburg, of which there are an estimated 2 million, daily. these 2 million people are, largely, not coming to socialise, but to work and contribute to the continent's largest city-economy (fun fact: jo'burg's gdp is larger than all african countries, apart from south africa, nigeria and angola). so, again, this is in addition to our taxes? deeper breath...
and thirdly, came the cherry on this advantage-taking cake: the auditor general's report which said that there had been R1.4 billion worth of 'unauthorised expenditure' in gauteng in 2010/2011 and R48 billion worth of 'irregular expenditure'.
so, as a taxpayer, i should pay for services that should be included in my taxes, such as parking and using the highway, while the province spends R49.4 billion in a manner that seems to be a great mystery? 'tsek!
anyway, #imjussayin
jamie
anyway, #imjussayin
jamie
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