this actually has very little to do with economics. although, perhaps the prisoner's dilemma could be wittingly incorporated somehow, but let's just see shall we.
as usual, i constantly spend time thinking about the interactions and relationships between people. recently, how individuals of the opposite sex engage with one another. i am a mere observer with a beer in the back. but what has really got me thinking lately (by watching my friends) is this element of "game".
now first and foremost, what exactly is "game"? can it be quantified? taught? bought? are you born with it? from my understanding, it is how you approach a prospective individual of the opposite sex, and somehow convince them that you are the best for them. that they should give you a chance. this happens without them even realising what is going on, and before they know it they are in bed with you. does that sound pretty correct?
i am constantly being told that i have no game, and it's true, by that definition i really do have none. I have witnessed friends do magical things in social situations once their eye is on the prize. eye. prize. done son. something switches on, and they suddenly adjust themselves in that moment and convert into animals seeking their prey. this yields results. and all without breaking a sweat.
i on the other hand choose to avoid such situations, and continue on my normal way of high fives and fist bumps. the occasional giggle here and there that even tends to surprise me. and here i wonder why i get nowhere.
so are these tactics that can be taught, or does one have to live out their lives without "game"? is game even important, or a fundamental starting block in relationships? does it not just overcomplicate situations? in my mind it should be boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl likes boy. BOOM! and they run off into the sunset. what is the essential purpose of this game? the challenge perhaps? we all like a good puzzle and a bit of back and forth, but can a puzzle be too easy or overly complicated?
for those who don't have game, i am essentially trying to justify why it is okay to not have any. will i be successful in this justification? i don't even know myself.
but these are just questions and thought starters. i don't know the answers to any of this, and if i did, this blog post wouldn't even be a thought. let's chat....
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
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ReplyDeleteSoOo, I've finally gotten round to being able to give my 3 cents worth on the 'situation'!!! Straight-up I'd like to mention, I'm obv's no guru, so the below stuffs is all my personal point of view.
So in my response, I'm going to reply to the questions I believe I may be able to shed some light on, be my opinion right, wrong, or at least another perspective on the situation :)
Ok, so: "now first and foremost, what exactly is "game"? can it be quantified? taught? bought? are you born with it? from my understanding, it is how you approach a prospective individual of the opposite sex, and somehow convince them that you are the best for them. that they should give you a chance. this happens without them even realising what is going on, and before they know it they are in bed with you. does that sound pretty correct?"
First things first, my personal definition of 'game':
To be able to read a situation, decide what optimal outcome you'd like to see happen (must be somewhat reachable), and applying the necessary to make that outcome your reality.
When you ask whether it can be quantified...in theory I'd say no, as each situation is bound to be different, but one could have more experience than someone else, whereby you'd say that that person has 'more game' so to speak...but it's not a direct quantity.
With regards to it being "taught, bought or born with it", I'd say it can definitely not be bought, and you're for sure not born it it. However, it can 100% be taught...but only up till a point. There are definite Do's and Don'ts, and basic's as with anything, but as mentioned prior, in the end it's experience based, so like with anything you learn, that knowledge can only get you so far, before experience becomes key.
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ReplyDelete"so are these tactics that can be taught, or does one have to live out their lives without "game"? is game even important, or a fundamental starting block in relationships? "
I think I've covered the taught-part, but onto the un/importance of game. I personally think it's very important to have! As a person, so many times people talk to you or you talk to them, and most of the time, you forget them or their names a few minutes/seconds later. Either that, or you may recon you've summed them up in the first few minutes after chatting.......but how many times does one turn out to be quite different 'when you get to know them better'?! To me, game is the ability to be able to talk to someone, find out their interests, what they believe attractive qualities are (without obviously asking), and to subtly play on those traits of both you and them. Every person has numerous facets of who they are, but with any meet-and-greet, you've got limited time to show them all off. So game comes in in reading a situation, and playing the cards you believe relevant to make your wanted outcome a reality. I believe that with every introduction/meet between two people (provided there's a certain level of physical attraction), there's the right and wrong thing one can say, to make/keep the other interested, but regardless of that, it very much comes down to the first impression you made from the get-go.
In terms of it being a "fundamental starting block", I'd say it's not...but boy does it help. Many times you'll be blown off, cause the other person 'has met tons of people just like you', or, you're 'not their type' looks-wise...but you know yourself, and you believe yourself to be different from all those others...and game is the ability to show that too. Sho, the more I think about it, the deeper it goes, and is very hard to touch on it all. Getting back to the starting blocks though, I think that without it, you're automatically putting yourself at a disadvantage, because with short encounters, you're just another person to someone else...unless you make an memorable impression, fast(game!)!!
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ReplyDelete"does it not just overcomplicate situations? in my mind it should be boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl likes boy. BOOM! and they run off into the sunset."
I wouldn't say it complicates things at the start, however, sure, the further down the rabbit whole you tend to travel, playing the game the whole time on your way down may complicate things. However, should you use game to make your evenings impression a good one, gain the interest, and be yourself from then on...definitely. If you can accomplish that, then for me, jobs done! :) Me thinks the whole 'girl meet boy, boy meet girl' with the whole like's-all-round...sure it's possible, but the likelihood/chance of it happening (without 'game') are waaaay smaller! Also, just cause you use 'game' to make an impression, does NOT mean you're not being yourself. Therefore, it doesn't complicate things...or shouldn't at least.
"we all like a good puzzle and a bit of back and forth, but can a puzzle be too easy or overly complicated?"
With regards to the puzzle being too easy...sure, it's possible, but then depending on what you're preferred outcome is, does it matter? If it does, then move on...but if you were looking for something quick/easy, then you probably don't care. However, if you were looking for the challenge and it comes too easy, then you're likely to move on. Either that, or if you've been 'playing the game' for a while, then you're not as likely to chose your 'victim' incorrectly from the start...i think :? hehe.
So yeah, i think I've brushed over many of the topics brought up in question, and those are my few cents. To conclude though, I'd say game is incredibly important/necessary. It helps provide keys to open doors that were closed to begin-with, providing you with the opportunity to choose whether you'd like to walk through it...or to chose another direction completely. Life's about choices, about decisions, about experiences...why not provide yourself with the ability to learn more, to grow faster, or get out of life what you want/are looking for.....screw letting the chips fall as they may, write your own future! :)
Bevan.....out!
rabbit *hole :P
DeleteWow Bev, what a response. You basically just wrote your own blog post there! Trying to steal my thunder here? You better watch yourself homes.
DeleteI agree with what you are saying. subsequent to posting this post, i had an interesting evening, and realised that "game" isn't what i had initially thought it to be. it all boils down to you just being yourself. you are correct in that one needs to be able to read social cues, and react to those. but that comes with any social interaction actually.
for me personally, a simple, "hi, this is me" works just perfectly. if you are just being your awesome self, you will be difficult to remember, and won't come off as ingenuine. but i guess it does all boil down to what your end goal in mind is
read my follow up post in case you haven't yet. that might shed some light on a few comments. discussion point over our next social interaction, my dear friend.