The Resurrection

Remember this old chestnut? It has been a while, hasn’t it?

I used to be an avid writer. It used to bring me so much joy and fulfilment. And then I stopped. For no clear reasons other than that, “I became too busy”; “I have no inspiration”; “who would actually read the garbage that I wrote”. But the main thing was that I wasn’t able to fit into any of the social media/blogging guidelines – my URL is too long; there is no clear theme/purpose of the blog; no social media connects; posts are too long; etc etc.

But I am on a new journey of self discovery, and I find that writing helps. A LOT!

Last year I realised then that I actually had no clue who/where I was in my own life, and in the world. I was living. Day to day. Getting up. Going to work. Meeting with friends. Having a blast. Day in. day out. But if I had to describe myself in one sentence, I was left sitting with a blank expression. Nothing actually made sense. I was a passenger in my life, and not in the driver’s seat deciding on the destination.

As a result I read. A lot. I spent a lot of time by myself. And oh boy did I journal the hell out of that year. I started taking yoga seriously (as a form of meditation and not because it was trendy). And I actively started meditating. All of these tools started helping me figure out , “what one earth is going on in that noodle of mine??”, but most importantly, “what is it that actually makes me happy and brings me that constant stream of happiness?”

The strange thing is that I started to uncover who I was, and what it meant in the greater scheme of my day to day life, life suddenly became that much easier. Issues were much easier to deal with. Decisions were much easier to make. My health was a much easier element of my life to deal with (I used to suffer from high blood pressure, and it dropped substantially).  And I was constantly happy. But really happy. WHAAAAT!!! My life was even easier to strategise and plan. Winning!

And then I hit another stumbling block recently. Ok, I have done all of this internalising. Great. But now, what next? Is what I had initially planned really what I want to do, or am I getting caught up in the day to day once again?  What are my passions? What gets me excited? What do I want to see myself doing in 10, 20, 30 years time. Do I make the system work for me, or do I say fuck the system and design my own?

So now I am on that journey, and let me tell you, a LOT of things I never realised, or had completely forgotten about are coming to the surface.

I am sure there are loads of people out there who are/have been asking themselves those same questions that I am in the process of finding answers to. So I invite you to join me on this journey of mine, and hopefully it will help uncover yours.

but hey, #imjussayin

R

#imjussayin #therereallywerenonamesavailable #thereturn #life #searching #exploration #journey #letsgetthiswritingon