what doesn't kill you

i'm generally not a very stressful person. i take things as they come, and if something unexpected occurs that i am not a fan on, i just deal with it head on. external pressures generally don't phase me. it's the internal pressure that gets me every time. but even that doesn't happen often enough.

but somehow this past month, the external pressures have affected the internal pressures, and lets just say that it has not been pretty. really. it resembled the clutch out of 2010 but was a little different because it wasnt a case of me not feeling comfortable in my space, it was a case of me having to get a lot of bruises and scars in order to learn from them no matter how hard it would be.

so work has been a nightmare. with things not just working out the way one would want to. ordinarily i would say that you can't let things like other people affect who you are and how you view yourself. but sometimes without your knowledge this stuff happens, and before you know it you are in a blubbering heap in the shower feeling sorry for yourself. needless to say, it was extremely tough, and completely affected by energy. i had a dark cloud that followed me everywhere, and this did not sit well with me at all.

but after yet another one of my freakouts, i had a think. and as obvious as it may seem, i only then realised that these knocks in life are there to teach you. to help you grow as a person. and to help you to discover who it is you really are. its when you are at your worst that you take a close look at things and make decisions about the kind of person you want to be. not for everyone else, but for yourself.

so that's what i did. i thought about who i was, and what i was turning into, and to be honest i wasnt a fan of the person looking back at me in the mirror. life is tough. if it wasn't, what would the point be. we all have to go through difficult times, and its the lessons that we learn from those times that really makes us who we are. throughout our lives we will encounter difficulties, they are unavoidable. you may want to call it quits. but believe it or not, as cheesy as it sounds, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. and one day, you can look back and either think that you were being a little bitch, or think that the pain and tortured you endured helped you become a stronger person and deal with things later in life.

so it's true what they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

but hey, #imjussayin

rabi