that doesn't sound like me at all, does it? there is wine though, so some things are still ok in the world.
2 months ago i made the decision to move cities. well, it was more like the decision was made for me. an opportunity came out of nowhere at a time when i really needed a change, and i decided to take it. something new. something different.
change can be daunting. it can be nerve wrecking. it can be down right shit yourself scary. but it is also necessary. and can be one of the best life decisions one can make in order to grow and move further along your path.
deciding to leave all that you know and understand behind is a brave step for anybody. and a step that must be taken in its stride. with no expectations except hoping to survive and not become consumed with all the evils and negativities that the world likes to throw at you to test you. those are thrown in there because let's face it, the world is a cruel cruel place. but rolling with the punches, getting those bruises is ultimately what is going to help shape who you are you going to become eventually. or at least get you on that path.
when i left my cosy, comfortable, hedonistic cape town life, it could not have come at a better time. times were dark. shit was rough. most times i did't know whether i was coming or going, and instead opted to just float about and let things consume me. getting completely lost and not willing to accept reality. reality is a bitch. but it needs to be faced at some point. "eventually" we all say. my eventually had arrived. about damn time too.
and up i went to durban. durban? i still find myself saying it with such surprise at times. but like i said before, change is required in order to grow. i have taken it in its stride, and accepted it for what it is. trying hardest to not look back longingly at the life and person i left behind, but instead look forward to the life and person i choose to become.
and that's what we all need to do when life hands us these "eventually" moments. look ahead. look at the possibilities. take it for what it is. all past experiences have led us to this point of "eventually", and this is just the next round in the match.
2 months in and even i have seen a difference. apart from my skin feeling and looking great in this climate, i feel calm more than anything. i have been told i even sound different. i sure as hell feel different. i am still the same at the core, but i feel i just house it differently. in a home that works for this time of my life. and let me tell you, it feels really good. and my use of the word "different" more times than deemed necessary above only goes to show how this change is working.
and if it fucks out. it fucks out. such is life. take it. learn from it. and move on.
let me know how it goes when you reach your "eventually".
but hey, #imjussayin
rabi
