i have been thinking about relationships quite a lot recently. wondering what they mean; what they stand for; the criteria for one; and whether i want one, or am even ready for one, and if so, when will it happen?
most of you know that jamie is in a relationship. some people are shocked by this announcement, and to be honest, when it first came about those many months ago, i was shocked too. i mean, this is my best friend, and for ages it had been me and her against the world. screw relationships. screw love. screw men (well, um...ja, but hopefully you catch my drift). then she entered a relationship with the coolest dude ever, and i noticed a change. a good change. i had always feared that some man would come in and shut down the party, but if anything, he has done the complete opposite, and brought us closer together. and he seems to have removed most, if not all, of the cynism she had towards relationships.
i on the other hand am still holding down the fort. team cynism, lets go! but recently i met someone. this dude. he is cool. we have been hanging out. and its as simple as that. most of my friends have been plaguing me with questions from day 1 about what our relationship status, and my answer has always been the same, "we are not in a relationship. we are just hanging out". and i stuck to this, because even though at times i would question my own beliefs, there was no need for me to think that things were any different. and when i did think differently, a call was immediately made to the war council
then came 'the talk'. yup, that talk. and the minute he brought it up, i started to freak out in my mind. i didnt know what his direction was going to be, and how i would feel about what he would say. what did i want??? did i want to stay where i was? did i want to take that leap? shit!
"I dont want a relationship" he said, and truth be told, i actually breathed a sigh of relief. thank god! this relief did bother me a little bit. was that the appropriate reaction? but we opened the discussion to the floor and decided that we aren't in a relationship and that we are totally comfortable with where we are. we are happy with the way things are. we did establish one rule though, and that is that there is honesty at all times regarding the pace and direction of this non-relationship relationship. we fist bumped to make it official.
now, my question is, is this a realistic endeavour? or have we completely redefined what happens between 2 people? seemingly we are in an open relationship, but do these really actually work? and if so, how? can they be successful with one person not getting hurt? and are they really fair to both parties involved? in essence, we are having our cake and eating it, but doesnt too much cake make you sick? we all saw how that fat kid suffered through those chocolate cakes in Matilda. and is there the possibilty that we could find ourselves in the same relationship location as jamie? or are we just wasting our time?
and with these answers pending, do you sign out now to avoid finding out, or do you just wait it out and learn from experience?
does the relationship still mean what it used to mean?
i dont know, but hey #imjussayin
